[This blog post is written in the character of Thérésa Tallien as part of our French Revolution unit in Socials]

 

Hóla, bonjour, it’s Thérésa Tallien, your favorite Spanish-born French noble!

Before I spill all the details about my life, give me a quick follow @TheresaTallien on Twitter to keep up with everything.

I was born on July 31st of 1773, and my dad was a rich aristocrat while my mom was a Spanish finance minister. So, needless to say, my family was doing pretty well in the money department.

Long story short, I am beautiful. Gorgeous, stunning, enchanting, and so on. I was the type of girl who would turn heads as I walked into a room. And at only fourteen years old, I married my first husband, Marquis de Fontenay. To be honest, it wasn’t really a great move for anybody, except for the fact that he insisted on taking me to Paris (I was living in Spain at the time). I got really into fashion and even met Queen Marie Antoinette! But besides that, things were kind of bad. Fontenay cheated on me all the time and even abused me. I had my first child while married to that scumbag (but it’s a different story whether or not the kid was his)!

But enough about that, he divorced me anyways. I was an aristocrat, and was very involved in the Revolution. I attended the Fête de la Fédération and even hosted a salon (and received a lot of prominent revolutionary figures)! I also may or may not have had affairs with some of those aforementioned prominent revolutionary figures, but that’s for me to know and you to find out.

During the Terror, being an aristocrat was a death sentence, so I got a passport for Bourdeaux to not get killed, obviously. When I got there, however, I was arrested as a suspicious person, which means I, Thérésa Tallien, got some jail time! I didn’t spend a long time there, though; my future husband Jean Lambarte Tallien (click here to see his blog) saw me and released me. Perks of being beautiful, am I right? Let me be super honest for a second: I never actually liked Tallien; he had voted for the King’s death! Nevertheless, I returned to Paris with him and got married. For convenience, obviously (I freed a whole bunch of other aristocrats with his help), but the poor guy was actually in love with me.

Unfortunately, freeing the other guys caught the attention of the Committee of Public Safety, so I was arrested again. I mean, a girl’s gotta get a jail experience in her lifetime, but twice? Ugh. Anyways, while I was imprisoned, I met Rose, one of my best friends. You would know her better as Josephine Bonaparte (she married Napoleon). So, I mean, maybe getting arrested twice was worth it.

There are some more juicy deets about my life, but I think a little glimpse is enough for now. Basically, I was the Kim Kardashian of the French Revolution (a little more scandalous and more politically involved, if I do say so myself), and I had ten kids in total with various husbands and lovers, which is really impressive. Just saying.

Xoxo,

Thérésa Tallien